A Bitter Sweet End

I guess at this point I am officially a senior at Hofstra University. This is a strange experience. I've always said that public school felt like it took forever because we always had so much of it left in front of us. However, college has felt like it happened in the blink of an eye. Look, right there, I'm already speaking about it in the past tense and it's not even over yet. Ok, I'll attribute that one to my poor writing skills. What I'm trying to say is that I'm baffled that these four years are preparing me for the rest of my life. This semester in particular was extremely difficult. It just felt like classes, performances, and relationships were all stepped up to the next level of intensity.

Don't get me wrong, I'm am extremely happy for the summer to be here. There is something about caddying, making money, and lounging with good friends that just clears my head. However, I still can't get the bitter taste of this last semester out of my mouth. Academics were challenging but I did it. Performances were awesome even though they caused me more stress than ever. It's the relationship part that makes me step back and think, "What the hell is wrong with us?" I'm pretty sure no one reads this but I'm still leery to write this down cause I'm almost positive it will get me in trouble somehow. I don't care though, I need to get my thoughts down. This past year, and especially the spring semester, I saw some of the ugliest sides of people I never thought I would see. I write this as a hypocrite because I am guilty of most of these things as well. What I don't understand is where we all learned that it is OK to say nasty things about someone behind their back, discretely over Facebook, or while they are in the same room. It's just not OK. As undergrads we are not skilled or experienced enough to comment on anyones musical ability, personal philosophies, or social actions. It all comes down to what you learned in Kindergarten, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything. Honestly, if the only thing you do with your friends is talk about other people when they aren't there you're relatively pathetic.

If you call someone your friend, don't commit the above action. If I had a nickel for every time I saw this happen I wouldn't be rich exactly, but I could probably buy a soda or something. Your friends are precious, never let anything stupid come between you and them.

We are only undergrads. There is a certain level of respect that should come from us directed at our superiors. Now, I am all for questioning things and fighting that power. Coming from a loud mouth, there is a certain way to question your superiors. Keep an open mind, there is so much information available to us. See what everyone has to offer and then, in the end, take what you want and leave what you don't like. I think thats exactly what college is about.

In a similar fashion to a friend of mind I would like to say that our time here is limited. Like everyone, I'm eager to one day be in control. However, why not make your time here pleasant. No one I have ever encountered at school is a truly and deeply bad person. We are all different and obviously will not all agree. However, something I've learned from working at a country club is that no matter who you don't like sometimes you just have to keep your mouth shut. You wont always agree with everyone, but you can be nice to everyone. It will make you feel better and make your time more valuable.

I must also say, that nothing in this post is directed at anyone specifically. It's more of a compilation of general feelings. This blog is for me, so read if you want and don't read if you can't handle it. If you feel this addresses you then maybe you are guilty along with me :-/